


Pink Lemonade

by orphan_account



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Cheating, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Pining, Sad dan, Warning: Really Sad, no actual drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-05-23 07:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6109954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan has it bad for Arin. Only problem is, Arin is dating Ross. Not just "dating," but dating LOUDLY. It's pretty gross. Dan is really upset and has a lot of feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alone And Sublime

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so just gonna warn y'all this is hella sad and if u don't wanna cry then sorry bud

Another Friday night spent at home, watching shitty movies with Barry. Kind of pathetic. Dan wanted to go with Arin and Ross to that party, but he couldn't bear seeing Arin hanging off his boyfriend's arm like an accessory. He knew Barry wanted to go too, but he was too nice for his own good and planted his ass firmly on the couch beside Dan, despite Dan fervently insisting that he should go have fun. Barry knew exactly what was going on, even though Dan hadn't explicitly told him. Dan was glad that Arin and Ross were too busy making goo goo eyes at each other to see how much he was dying inside. It must have been obvious that he was jealous of Ross' relationship with Arin, because Barry was always asking him if he was okay, and suggesting alternative activities if their first plan would put Dan in a position where he would be forced to see the two glued to one another. Dan didn't know what he had done to deserve a friend like Barry. 

 

The two watched the worst movies they could find, Barry hoping to cheer his friend up and Dan hoping to be cheered up. They did this fairly often now that Ross and Arin were dating, the thought of Arin being with someone else leaving Dan in a consistently gloomy mood. 

 

While Barry's attempts were valiant, it never seemed to work. Dan would sit through the film, staring at the screen but not really paying attention, the turmoil in his mind slowly eating him alive. Every time was the same, Barry would notice that he was just zoning out and suggest that they both get to sleep, Dan would agree, Barry would go to sleep and Dan would lay awake in bed staring at the ceiling until morning came. Luckily for him, he had always had dark circles under his eyes so nobody seemed to notice that they were gradually getting worse.

 

It was about that time again where the two of them would each go to their bedrooms, and everything was playing out exactly how it always had until Barry grabbed Dan's arm just before they parted ways. Dan snapped out of his trance just long enough to hear Barry over the swirling white noise in his head. 

 

"Try to actually sleep, Dan. You look terrible, and Arin might start noticing soon if you don't try to get some rest. Goodnight."

 

Barry let go of Dan's arm and patted him on the back, disappearing into his bedroom. Okay, maybe his dark circles were more noticeable than he thought. He would sleep if he could, but he had so much to think about. He couldn't shut his thoughts off long enough to drift off, and it had been several days since the last time he was able to get any rest. 

 

He changed into his pajamas, moving on autopilot. He sat down on his bed, pulling his hair back into a loose puff and flopping down on his back, long limbs spread across the bed. He hadn't noticed the lump forming in his throat until the tears had already begun running down his face. Why did he care so much? He was normally pretty good at letting things go, but he couldn't stop thinking about Arin. How his rich smooth voice was like music to Dan's ears, how his silky hair always smelled like strawberries, how his warm brown eyes always looked at Dan like he was the most important person in the world, his pink lips and how he always smeared cherry Chapstick all over them. All these things rolled up together to form Dan's own personal hell. 

 

He felt like shit because he knew how selfish it was to want to have Arin all to himself so badly, especially since it  would cause Ross and Arin to break up. They looked happy together, and Dan hated how much he wanted to steal Arin away from Ross. It would break the poor kid's heart, and there was nothing worse than sad Ross. He laid there thinking about all the ways he could either be a homewrecker or just leave them alone. He even thought about going off the grid to herd sheep in Iceland, and he would do it in a second if there were any chance of him forgetting about Arin. But there was no way Dan could stop thinking about him, so he didn't bother trying. He closed his eyes and tried to shut off his brain, and it worked for a while. He got a whopping 3 hours of fitful slumber, waking back up in the wee hours of the morning with no hope of going back to sleep. He resigned himself to simply staring at the ceiling fan and letting his mind wander, hoping to get some of it out of his system before he had to face the world again.

 

He laid there until he could hear Barry milling about in the kitchen, making breakfast just like he did every day. Barry was a creature of habit, and Dan used it to his advantage when trying to hide his gloomy moods. Dan tried his hardest to seem cheerful, but Barry always seemed to see right through his façade. 

 

Dan emerged from his room looking like the hot mess that he was, oversized t-shirt slipping off one shoulder and hair falling out of the already tenuous ponytail he had pulled it up into last night. 

 

"Safe to assume that you didn't get a lot of sleep last night?"

 

Barry only had to glance up from the eggs he was scrambling to know all the answers to his questions. Dan gave him a weak laugh. There really was no hiding from Barry. 

 

"A lot? No. But I got more than nothing, which is something... I guess."

 

Dan poured himself a cup of coffee, Barry had made it extra strength today, bless his heart, and took a seat at the table. Both were silent as Barry finished cooking the eggs, dumping them onto a couple of plates and setting one in front of Dan. 

 

"Thanks, Bear."

 

Barry nodded and sat down next to Dan, taking a bite of the eggs. Barry was halfway through his breakfast when he looked over and noticed that Dan was just pushing the eggs around with his fork. 

 

"Come on dude, you haven't been eating a lot lately. Eat your eggs or you'll vanish, you're already too skinny."

 

Barry was right, as always, but Dan just couldn't stomach it. He wasn't hungry. Maybe talking to Barry about what was bothering him would make him feel better. He set his fork down and took a deep breath. 

 

"Barry, I think it's time that I tell you exactly why I've been acting like such a little bitch. You've been such a great pal to me and I owe you that much." 

 

Barry took a break from shoveling eggs into his mouth to turn to look at Dan, who was staring blankly at the wall directly across from him. He was so embarrassed by his own jealousy that he couldn't bear to look at his best friend. 

 

"What is it, Dan?"

 

Dan was silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts. He sighed and decided to just lay it all out, quick and painful, like ripping off a bandage. Words were pouring out of his mouth at full speed, and he couldn't stop long enough to put it all together properly. 

 

"I'm totally head over heels for Arin, but he's with Ross and I don't want to ruin their relationship because that would be horribly fucking selfish as if Arin would even be remotely interested in me, at least romantically, and I feel bad for wanting it so bad but at the same time I can't stop thinking about how much I want-"

 

He was cut off by Barry's soft voice. 

 

"Dan, slow down. I can't understand you."

 

Dan took a deep breath.

 

"Every time I see Ross and Arin together I just get this huge knot in my chest because I want that to be me holding Arin's hand and giving him those sickeningly sweet looks, but at the same time I don't want to let my jealousy destroy the way I feel about Ross. It's Ross! I can't hate him! I'm just tearing myself up inside because I can't get over this stupid fucking middle school crush I have on Arin!" 

 

Barry nodded, processing the information. 

 

"I would really like to tell you how to make everything all better, but I can't. This is something you either need to talk with Arin about, or just let go."

 

That was what Dan had been afraid of. But he knew that was the way it had to be, even if he didn't like it. Barry continued, getting Dan's attention and looking him dead in the eyes.

 

"But DON'T ruin it by trying to seduce Arin or something, because you WILL regret it and you might not be able to fix it."

 

"I understand. I'm just so scared of making everything weird or making them hate me or some shit."

 

"They won't hate you, they're grown ass men. But they certainly will feel differently about you if you try to do something stupid."

 

Dan buried his face in his hands.  

 

"Everything is stupid, I'm a mess. I just want to disappear."

 

"Quit being such a drama queen, Dan. Everything will be fine. Just eat your eggs, they're going to get cold."

 

Barry continued eating his breakfast, deciding to let Dan work this out by himself. He always seemed to bounce back eventually, and Ross was going home to Perth to visit family for a few days next week, which would give Dan some time to talk to Arin alone. 

 

\-------------------------------------

 

Dan came home from work that night drained enough to the point where he might actually get some sleep. He stumbled into the bathroom and examined himself in the mirror. Ugh, he looked like shit. If he didn't start getting more sleep and taking better care of himself he was going to look like he was 70 years old by the end of the month. It was a good thing he took pride in still being a spring chicken at 36, otherwise he might just give up and let his appearance go to shit. Not only was his healthy dose of vanity preventing him from letting himself go, but what would his friends think if they saw him this way? The last thing he wanted was everyone worrying about him, and he certainly didn't want to bring any attention the the fact that he wasn't feeling too hot. 

 

He splashed cold water on his face and gave himself a little pep talk. 

 

"Come on, big guy. You can get over this, can't you? Where's Danny Sexbang? Remember him? Come on out, it's time to get over this stupid crush."

 

God, if only he really were Danny Sexbang. That was a character he had created to make a few stupid music videos with his buddy Brian several years back. Danny Sexbang was a womanizer who would travel space and time having wild sex and breaking hearts, along with his homicidal ninja partner in crime: Ninja Brian. Ninja Sex Party never really got very far off the ground, though, so his spandex suit just sat in the back of the closet collecting dust. 

 

The real Dan was nothing like Danny Sexbang, not by a long shot. The real Dan craved romantic connection, a loving relationship. He felt dirty and wrong the first (and only) time he dared to fuck and run. One night stands weren't his thing.

 

Dan sighed and went into his bedroom, being quiet so as not to wake Barry. He took off his jeans and his jacket, not bothering to put on his normal nighttime getup or pull his hair back. He slumped onto his bed face down in his T shirt and boxers, his hair fanned out across his pillow. He was asleep in thirty seconds flat, a miracle as far as he was concerned. 

 

\---------

 

When he finally woke up, it was 4:30 PM. He stumbled out of his room, stiff from having slept for so long. As he entered the kitchen, he noticed that Barry had left him a note on the table. 

 

_**Had to go to work, hope you slept well. Take care of yourself.** _

 

_**\- Barry** _

 

Dan had a day off today, which must have been why Barry hadn't woken him. He was grateful, he really needed that sleep. He was starting to feel better already.

 

After quite a bit of consideration about what he would do with himself, he decided to visit the boardwalk. He liked the beach, and maybe seeing pretty girls in bikinis would get his mind off of Arin for at least a couple of hours. It was a long shot, but it was worth a try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL IM SO SORRY BUT THERE WILL BE A HAPPY ENDING BECAUSE I AM WEAK AND I NEED TO SEE MY STORIES RESOLVED


	2. Keep It A Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross is leaving for Australia, and Dan gets to spend some time alone with Arin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// DRUGS MENTION//
> 
> NO ACTUAL DRUG USE JUST MENTION

The sound of the waves crashing against the tide pools, along with the distant chatter of its visitors, made Santa Monica beach one of Dan's favorite escapes. He was sitting on the rocks high above the water, far down the coast away from the other beachgoers. He was familiar with this particular spot, since he used to come here to get high with his friend Brian before he moved away to pursue a career in theoretical physics.

 

 Part of Dan wished that he was still that person, the kind of person who could escape from reality for a short while. But he had given up smoking not long after Brian left, and he had been such a heavy smoker in his youth that he didn't think he could afford to buy enough weed to numb his pain now. 

 So there he sat, watching the sky slowly change from clear blue to deep orange, trying to sort himself out.

 What would he say to Arin? How could he even face him? He knew that he would most likely end up doing something he would regret while Ross was away. Why did he have to choose? He combed his fingers through his wind whipped hair, drawing in a deep breath. 

 He was fucked, but he knew he would never feel better if he didn't at least tell Arin how he felt. He owed that to Arin, didn't he? Not only did he owe that to Arin, he owed it to himself. He shouldn't have to feel like shit just because he can't suck it up and say how he feels. 

 He had to do it. He was going to, as soon as Ross left for Australia. It felt dirty, but if he kept this to himself he thought he might burst. 

 He sat alone on the tide pool and watched the sun set over the water, able to relax for a short time before he headed home. 

 

\-----------

 

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

 Dan reached for his phone, which was bouncing around on the coffee table with each text.

 It was Arin. 

 He tapped in the passcode and read the messages. 

  **Arin: Hey Dan, will you come with me to drop Ross off at the airport tomorrow morning?**

  **Arin: He wants to see you before he leaves**

  **Arin: Plus it's been like FOREVER since we last saw each other**

  **Arin: Pretty please?**

 Dan was hesitant, since the departure would definitely involve lots of kissing and hugging and other displays of affection that he wasn't sure he could handle. But, on the other hand, he really cared about Ross and Arin. They had all been best friends for years, and Ross apparently really wanted to see him. He sighed and decided to go anyway. 

  **Dan: Sure, why not? What time do I need to wake up to catch you?**

  **Arin: Sweet! We'll swing by and pick you up at 7 am so try to get your scrawny ass up and ready before then**

  **Dan: Bro, don't talk about my ass that way. You're gonna hurt its feelings.**

  **Arin: Lmao tell your ass that I'm very sorry**

 It was easier than Dan had expected to fall back into the pattern of banter they'd always had, which was a huge relief. It would make it easier for him to speak his mind when the time came. 

 The two continued talking until Barry ordered Dan to go to bed, having to use his mom voice. Dan got to sleep that night without much trouble, talking with Arin always put him in a good mood. 

 

\---------

 

"What in the name of _fuck_ -"

 Dan had forgotten why he'd set his alarm so early, but soon remembered that he was going with Arin to drop Ross off at the airport. 

 He rolled over, snatching his phone from the bedside table to turn off the horrible blaring noise emanating from it. 

 What time was it? Shit, it was 6:45. Arin had said he was going to pick him up at 7.

 Dan jumped out of bed and power walked bleary-eyed to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and washing his face as quickly as possible. He returned to his room, throwing on a black t shirt and a pair of torn jeans just as his phone buzzed with a text from Ross.

  **Ross: we're almost there, hope you remembered to get up early**

 He quickly tapped out a reply before tossing his phone back onto his bed and grabbing his sneakers.

  **Dan: Barely. I'm putting on shoes, I'll be ready when you get here.**

 He pulled on his shoes and grabbed his phone, wallet, and keys before leaving a note for Barry and stepping out the front door. It was hardly two minutes before Arin's car pulled up, Ross riding shotgun and grinning like an idiot. 

 As soon as Dan opened the car door to slide in the backseat, Ross was shouting. 

 "DANNY!"

 Ross peeked around the seat at Dan, his ice blue eyes full of excitement.

 "Hey, Ross, how've you been?" 

 "Fantastic, dude! I'm so excited to see my family! How about you? I haven't seen you in a while."

 Dan shrugged, buckling his seatbelt. 

 "Pretty okay, I guess."

 Arin pulled out of the driveway and they were on their way to the airport, the three of them making small talk as Arin drove.

 Dan stared blankly out the window, trying not to look at Ross's hand, which had been on Arin's thigh for the whole drive. 

 

\----------

 

"Call me when you get there, okay?" 

 "Yeah, I will. Take good care of Orph while I'm gone."

 "As if I wouldn't."

 " _Now boarding rows 15 through 30._ "

 The flight attendant's chipper voice was clear above the full chatter of the other passengers, calling for Ross's row to board. 

 Ross launched himself into Arin's arms, hugging him like he would never see his boyfriend again. 

 Was it Dan's imagination, or did Arin look a little bit uncomfortable? No, it had to be. It was just wishful thinking. A terrible thing to wish for, but still. There was no kiss before Ross grabbed his luggage and trotted away, saying goodbye to both Arin and Dan over his shoulder. Maybe he was seeing things. 

 Just like that, Ross was gone. Dan was left alone with Arin, and Dan wasn't sure if it was more awkward than having Ross there with them. It was a close tie for the most awkward situation he could remember ever being in. What was he supposed to say now? What was he supposed to do?

 He nearly jumped out of his skin when Arin put his hand on his shoulder. 

 "C'mon, space cadet. Let's go get something to eat before we leave."

 

\-------

 

The ride home was the most deafening silence the two had ever shared, and Dan thought he might actually be sick if he didn't say something soon. 

 Luckily, Arin was the one to shatter the silence. 

 "What have you been up to since the last time we hung out?"

 "Not a lot, mostly just work."

 "You need to have more fun, you look like you've aged a decade since I last saw you."

 "Fuck, do I really?"

 Barry was right, as always. Arin had noticed. Dan glanced at himself in the side mirror. He looked like a ghoul. 

 "When's the soonest you're free? I want to chill with you again, just like the good old times." 

 Arin gave Dan a playful bump on the shoulder. 

 "We can play video games like we always used to."

 "That sounds great, Arin. I've got tomorrow off, we can do it then."

 "Sweet! I really missed you, Dan."

 Dan felt like he'd swallowed a million butterflies. Arin was looking at him with a giant smile plastered across his face, and Dan smiled back reflexively. 

 He never got used to the way Arin's smile made him feel. He was such a goofball, always trying to make Dan laugh. 

 When Arin pulled into Dan's driveway to drop him off, Dan's emotions were building up and about to burst through the dam just as he stepped out of the car, missing Arin as soon as he closed the car door, aching as he watched him drive away. 

 He ambled through his front door, his feet felt so heavy.

 Barry was home, turning on the couch to greet his roommate. Dan gave him a weak smile and a half hearted wave, suddenly feeling exhausted. 

 Once in his bedroom, he checked his watch. 9:46, he still had time to go back to sleep before work.He set the alarm on his phone, kicked off his shoes, and flopped down face first on his bed. He was asleep within seconds of hitting the mattress, still wearing his clothes. 

 

\----------

 

Buzz. Buzz.

 Dan awoke to several texts from Arin, he'd always been the type to send several individual messages instead of one large one. Dan tried to roll over to read the messages, but couldn't see through his own wild bed hair. He sat up, yawning. He grabbed his phone from the table and read the texts.

  **Arin: hey dude we're still on for today right**

  **Arin: I just wanted to make sure**

  **Arin: you're probably still asleep but text me back when you get these**

  **Arin: I mean it's only 2:00 in the afternoon **

  **Arin: you lazy fuck**

  **Arin: jk I know you're a busy man who needs his beauty rest**

 The next message was an image, a weird old cgi rendering of a naked man getting jacked off by a wolf. Arin sent that image often, it always made Dan smile. 

  **Dan: I just woke up. Yeah, I'll be over soon, and thanks for the wolfjob**

  **Arin: any time Dan**

  **Arin: see you soon ;D**

 Dan rolled out of bed and got ready to leave, wondering if this time spent with Arin would be awkward, or if they would be able to get back to the banter they had always had, the comfortable chatter they shared before Arin started dating Ross, and before Dan realized that he had it bad for Arin. 

 Dan found himself white knuckling the steering wheel on the drive over, wondering how difficult spending time with his best friend could possibly be. It couldn't be that hard, as far as Dan knew, Arin hadn't changed at all. Dan was the one who was different now. As long as he could get out of his own head, he would be fine. Right? He hoped so. It was too late to cancel now, he was already halfway to Arin's house. He pulled out his phone and instructed Siri to send a text to Arin to let him know he was almost there. 

 When he pulled into the driveway, he could see that Arin had been waiting for him. The front door opened as soon as Dan climbed out of his car, Arin's smiling face appearing in the doorway. Dan smiled back, meeting him at the door.

 "Come on, Dan, let's get the party started!"

 "What party? It's just the two of us." 

 "It's an expression, doofus. Get your ass in here and play games with me."

 Arin grabbed Dan by the hand and pulled him inside, dragging him towards the room where he kept his unnecessarily massive collection of video games and toys. 

 Arin had Tecmo Bowl loaded up, and Dan was touched. Arin knew he liked football, even though Arin himself was damn near clueless about it. 

 "What did I do to deserve a friend like you, Arin?" 

 Arin shrugged blushing almost imperceptibly. The two plopped down beside each other on the couch, and started up the game. Dan chose the New York Giants, of course, and Arin chose a random team. 

 "Dude, I'm totally going to kick your ass at this."

 "Arin, you barely know how football works."

 "So what? That doesn't mean I can't kick your ass."

 Dan giggled. "It actually really does."

Arin started the game, and after getting his backside handed to him on a silver platter what must have been at least 15 times, he conceded. 

 

\----------

 

The hours had flown by, just like they always did when the two were together. They had been playing random games from Arin's shelf, and had quickly become tired. Arin was seated cross-legged on the couch, Dan wrapped in a blanket and leaning against him, his head on Arin's shoulder. 

 The room was quiet, save for the faint chiptune pause music of the game looping endlessly.

 "Hey Dan?"

 "Hmm?"

 "Can I tell you something that might make me sound like a total asshole?"

 "You've never asked before, you usually just say the things."

Dan had his eyes closed, but he could feel Arin trying to burn a hole in the top of his head with imaginary eye-lasers.

 "I'm kidding, Arin. Of course you can say it."

 "I have to break up with Ross soon or I think I'm going to suffocate."

 Dan's heart leapt out of his chest, and it was all he could do to not choke when it exited through his throat. 

 "What do you mean?"

 "He's just so... clingy. Everywhere we go together, he's glued to me. It's like if he's not touching me at all times then he thinks he might float away."

 Dan could almost relate to Ross in that aspect, at least in that particular moment. 

 Arin rested his cheek on the top of Dan's head, and Dan felt simultaneously grounded and weightless. 

 "Yeah, I noticed that you two didn't get all gooey when he left."

 "I'm glad he didn't pressure me for a kiss, that just would have been awkward."

 "So what are you going to do?"

 Arin sighed, and was silent for several moments.

 "I have to break up with him. But I have to wait until he gets back from Australia, because dumping someone over text is probably one of the worst dick moves you can pull."

 "How long have you been sitting on this?"

 "A couple of weeks." 

"Jesus, Ar, why didn't you do it before he left?" 

 Arin sighed again, this time more exasperated.

 "I didn't want to bum him out right before he left, and I was worried for some reason that he wouldn't want to come back. I mean, I still want to be his friend, I just can't handle dating him anymore."

 Dan didn't respond, he just didn't have the right words. He was both ecstatic that he would have a chance to have Arin for himself, and disappointed in himself for being so glad to see his friends breaking up. 

 "Hey, Dan?"

 Arin lifted his head from where it was resting. 

 "Mhm?"

 Arin's hand gently tipped Dan's chin up so they were face to face. 

 Dan's stomach was winning Olympic medals in gymnastics by the time their lips met, then all at once the stress that had been weighing down on him dissolved.

 Arin's lips were so soft and so smooth slowly moving against his own. The kiss was deepening, and Dan felt Arin's tongue slipping between his lips, and he gladly welcomed him in. He tasted so good, the cherry Chapstick he was constantly smearing all over his lips was Dan's new favorite flavor. 

 Everything was just how he had wanted. The moment he had been waiting for. It was all perfect, except for one enormous minor detail. 

Dan broke the kiss hesitantly, like getting out of a hot shower into a cold bathroom. 

 "Arin, we shouldn't be doing this."

 "Just this once, Dan, we'll keep it a secret."


	3. Your Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan decides to be an adult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all sorry this chapter is so short it just seemed like the best place to stop for now but I'm currently 3 hours away from Chicago so I have plenty of time to work on chapter 4!!!

 

He shouldn't be doing this, it was the absolute wrong thing to to. But why did it feel so right?

Dan's mind was twisting itself into pretzels as Arin leaned in for another kiss, screaming internally to pull away, but he stayed exactly where he was. He accepted the kiss for a second time, twice too many, and began to kiss back, part of him kicking himself in the ass for doing this behind Ross's back, and another part kicking the first part's ass because he wanted Arin so badly and wasn't about to let himself ruin it.

Ruin it? Or fix it. Who even knew? Was it too late at this point to be "fixed," or would it even matter if they went all the way? All or nothing, right?

Wrong. All of it was wrong.

Dan pulled away, deciding that he had to be the adult and prevent this from becoming something neither of them would be able to hide.

"Jesus Christ, Dan, I'm so sorry for doing this to you. I'm such a shitty friend, _and_ a shitty boyfriend."

Arin buried his face in his hands.

"Can we just... Not tell Ross about this? I don't want to forget about this, but we can't let Ross know. I love him too much to hurt him this way."

"I won't tell him. The last thing I need right now is less friends."

"I know this might be kind of a dick thing to ask, but once I've ended it with Ross... can we maybe... do this again?"

Dan stood to leave, patting Arin on the back.

"We'll see."

He left Arin there on the couch, speeding away so he could be alone with his thoughts.

'We'll see?' What the fuck did he mean by that?

_OF COURSE_ he would let Arin walk all over him again, he would do it any time and anywhere. He was weak when it came to Arin, and it would have taken more than everything he had to not have had sex with him right there on that couch if he'd been asked.

Thank god Arin hadn't pushed any further for it, or even mentioned the prospect of sex, because there would have been no way Dan could have said no. He wanted it so badly that he was almost willing to be Arin's fucking mistress, for heaven's sake.

But he couldn't do that to Ross. He didn't deserve that kind of heartbreak.

It took a moment for Dan to realize that he had arrived at home, and was just sitting in his car outside. Autopilot must have taken over while he was lost in his own head. Good thing, too, he would have been driving in circles without it. Or worse.

Barry was already asleep when Dan got inside, but was snoring up a storm from the couch rather than his bed. He must have conked out waiting for Dan to get home.

Dan smiled at his roommate, splayed out on the couch with his face mushed into the armrest.

He turned off the tv and gently lifted Barry from the couch. He didn't worry about waking him, Barry wouldn't stir if a full mariachi band in a monster truck crashed into the house with its horn blaring.

Dan laid Barry on his neatly made bed, turning off the lamp and retiring to his own room.

He changed into his sleepwear and pulled his hair up into his usual loose puff, climbing into bed.

What a day.

He couldn't get over how amazing it all was. Equal parts mind blowingly amazing and pants-shittingly terrifying. How could he keep this a secret? The only way he would be able to keep a thing like that locked down would be to forget, which he couldn't do even if he wanted to. He had wanted Arin's affection so badly for so long, but now that he had gotten it, he was more lost in his own mind than he was before.

It was no big mystery what the right thing to do was: DON'T be Arin's mistress. He couldn't live with himself if he did that to Ross.

But Arin had said that he was going to break up with Ross when he returned from Australia, so all Dan had to do until then was not be alone with Arin. Seemed easy enough, at least.

**Buzz buzz**.

Dan rolled over and took his phone from the bedside table. Speak of the devil.

**Arin: This might be a really stupid thing for me to say right now but**

**Arin: I can't stop thinking about that kiss**

**Arin: like holy shit dude where did you learn to kiss like that**

Maybe this wouldn't be as easy as he'd thought.

 


End file.
